Changes

It's been awhile since I've had the desire to blog... I've had a lot to say, but sometimes, just because I've had things to say doesn't mean it's the time to say them.   I've decided that now is the time to say them.

So... an overview on the last... 6 months or so.

July 2015:
With July came beautiful weather, lots of beach days to fill in the the times when I wasn't working at Single MOMM. Single MOMM was focusing on planning for the upcoming year while trying to get the ReVIVE program ready for it's official launch AND planning for Blue Jeans & Pearls was well under way including applications and interviews for the candidates of the scholarship for those who had completed ReVIVE.  This was a really unique process where we actually got to see on paper how each woman felt their life had been impacted by their time in group and where they felt they had the most personal growth.  As someone who is sometimes is frustrated because "growth" can't always be seen... it was incredibly encouraging to be able to read the about the growth each woman found. It made me very excited to prepare for the next round of group with a renewed enthusiasm for the program and all of the brain energy it sucked from me.

July 30,2015 I was on my way to have ice cream with a man (whom little did I know would capture my heart in the many months to come) I was in a severe head on car accident.  After seeing my car shortly after the accident, I was fortunate to walk away with the injuries I did.  A severe concussion, bruised chest and sternum, and a banged up knee.  These injuries caused me to slow WAY down. .. including several weeks off from work. If you know me at all... you know that I don't accept help well from others... but the injuries left me unable to drive and really do much more than sit on my couch (or the beach in most cases) and many loved ones came to my rescue.

August 2015:
As I spent lots of time sleeping in the first few weeks of August so that my brain could heal, I was able to spend a significant amount of time in personal reflection and examination of my life.  It became apparent that I was still struggling with some co-dependent tendencies that I was allowing to dictate ALL areas of my life. I never realized that while I've always considered myself incredibly independent... I was terribly afraid to make decisions on my own without the endorsement or approval of those I confided in... and for the last several months those people had included my boss and co-workers.  I made the decision that in going forward, I needed to focus more on living my life on my terms, well on God's terms, and stop seeking the approval of others.  This was going to be a challenge for sure!

The middle of August brought the time for me to return to work.  However, much to my sadness, Single MOMM had come to the conclusion that we were no longer a good match.  This left me at quite a crossroad. While I desperately needed the time to refresh and find my love for the job again, I didn't feel that my time with the women I worked with was supposed to be over yet.  Unfortunately, that was no longer my decision. For the next several weeks, I worked through a lot of sadness, frustration, and then needing to mend the hearts of those who were also quite saddened by the news.  This was challenging. Lots of tears were shed during this time.

While normally my first instinct would be to go out and get any job that I could... I felt that I was supposed to wait and spend some time healing and rejuvenating rather than rushing into a job. Again.. this was not something I was overjoyed about.. but I knew that in order to find the next step for me... I would need to be healed and well rested.

September-December 2015:
Remember the ice cream guy from before? Turns out he's pretty spectacular. Nothing like meeting someone in a neck brace and a hospital gown for the first time to make a SMASHING impression  He brought many things to the table including holding me to my word of not picking up just any job. UGH! He has endured my many melt downs, encouraged me, challenged me, and loved me in all of my glorious mess. He might need to be a whole separate blog. Stay tuned for that one. :)

Nicholas started his last year of elementary school and quickly  fell into the school routine happy to be with his friends again.  Alexander continued at Angel Care and in all of his 3 year old glory continues to capture the hearts of his teachers.  It always amazes me how opposite the boys are. They are adjusting to the co-parenting schedule relatively well and look forward to time with dad as much as time with mom.

Things at church proved to be challenging, and as I did some consulting for them, it became clear that some significant changes needed to occur, and that some of those changes were going to be quite painful.  This brought many more tears.

December 2015:
December brought with is a temporary job at Grace Episcopal Church and a time of significant personal healing. I definitely think that I've found some peace and freedom in the many changes that have occurred this last year.  From divorce to job loss, car accident to new relationship, relational loss to relational gain. Holy changes batman! And that peace would not have been possible without the help and support of many of you... new friends and old. The holiday season brought with it a new challenge as this would be my first Christmas without the boys home. That combined with more family stuff left me feeling tired and overwhelmed.  Not a good combination when you're recently recovering from a head injury.

January 2016:
After a crazy holiday season, I'm thankful for some quiet, and yes, snow.  Nicholas has joined a ski association this winter in hopes of doing some racing and I am so proud at how he has taken to not only the demanding practice schedule, but there's a twinkle in his eye when he talks about skiing that has been missing for quite awhile.

January also brought with it a second concussion as I took a cement step to the back of the head.  For those of you who are chuckling at this point because you know my history with falls, and clumsiness.. I WANT A
SPARKLY  PURPLE HELMET! The aggravation of the old injury has brought new challenges including horrible headaches, poor sleep and vision troubles.  I for see lots of needed rest in the future as my brain tries yet again to recover.  Seriously...  I probably should look into living in a bubble.

January also brought the resignation of the Pastor at the church who, along with his wife had become dear friends.  The sadness that came with that also brought disappointment in the way the event was handled.  This will put the church in a precarious position as we move forward as the need for relational healing and accountability is HUGE in order for us to succeed.

I am continuing to enjoy my day job at Grace Episcopal and have been welcomed with very open arms.  While I am only there for a short time as they experience transition, I know that it will be a rewarding time.

While I still am quite unsure of what my future holds... it's looking bright and I am excited for the many opportunities that have yet to unfold.  Ya never know what I'll end up doing next... maybe I'll pursue my childhood dream of running for president... ok well maybe not... but it will be big.. so stay tuned.