Moms come in all shapes, sizes, ages
and backgrounds. Some moms have birthed us and some come to us
through other relationships. A mom can be a grandmother, an aunt, a
friend, a parent's girlfriend, or just someone that has chosen to
invest in your life and the shaping and molding of who you are.
According to Urban Dictionary, the top
definition for “mom” is:
“The woman who loves you
unconditionally from birth, the one who puts her kids before herself
and the one who you can always count on above everyone else. Just
telling her your problems makes you feel better because moms always
know how to make it all go away. Even if you fight, you know that
she's just looking out for your best interests.”
So what do you do when you're mom...
but you're not “mom?” When you haven't birthed the children, but
you love them as your own. Turning my “momness” off is just not
something that I can do whether I birthed the children or not.
This week, two of my children were involved in an incident and sustained significant injury.
Now, I'm sure most of you are saying to
yourself “she only has two children.” I don't... I have 5. Two
that I birthed, and three that have stolen my heart just as their dad
has. And so yes, I consider them mine (with no disrespect at all to
their mothers in any way), even though I'm not “mom” to them. I
feed them, stay home when they're sick, plan special things for their
birthdays, braid their hair, buy their toiletries and tampons, buy
their groceries, take them to the doctor, clean up their vomit, and
all of the other things associated with “mom” when they're in my
home.
I cannot explain to you accurately the
horror and panic I felt when I got the call about Nicholas and Emma
on Thursday. As I ran out of the house without shoes or regular
clothing all I could think about was getting to them as fast as
possible, not even knowing at that point the extent of their
injuries.
Running to them and not being sure how
to hold them both in my arms at the same time while being able to
assure them that they were safe. Driving them to the hospital as fast
as I could without getting pulled over while trying to put my arms
between the back and front seat to make sure I could comfort them
both. Checking them into the hospital and then going between both
rooms so that neither of them were alone any longer than they needed
to be until Grandparents arrived to help.
I never really understood “loving
them as my own” being an option, but it wasn't until this occurred
that I really realized how much they have taken up residence in my
heart. There is no going back for me. I may not be their “mom,” I
may not ever be even close, but they are “my children.”
I've had a couple of different moms in
my life. Women who provided things in different seasons that have
helped shape and mold me into the woman I am today. And while I've
had the benefit of having my biological mother as my “mom.” I am
most grateful for what those other women brought to the table along
with what my mom taught me.
To me... my definition of being a
mom...
… providing unconditional love,
putting their needs above my own, and trying my damndest to be one
they can always count on....
Take a moment this Mother's Day to love
on the moms in your life. Mom can be much more than the woman who
birthed you. Moms can come in all shapes and sizes.
They've helped
make you.... you... by being them....
And they... are moms.
